Pregnancy | Things they don't tell you about being pregnant


Aversions. Not only do you go off certain foods and drink; I stopped reading, listening to music and pretty much doing anything fun. It was only during my second trimester that things resumed to normal.

"Let me have a feel." Be prepared for anyone who is anyone to lunge at your tummy, it is no longer yours - apparently.

You get really hairy! Everything from your legs to your eyebrows. You notice hairs growing in places you didn't even know about. 

Don't get down. Getting up from any position is almost impossible towards the end. Don't get on the floor, lie on your back or try to enjoy a relaxing bath in your third trimester because you will get stuck. Ensure you have someone on hand to hoist you up. 

Discharge. You become quite moist down below but as long as its clear/white and not watery then it's perfectly normal. I suggest you invest in some panty liners. 

Stretch marks. I did everything to avoid them but if your mother had them having you, chances are you'll get them too. I now resemble Tony the Tiger and it doesn't matter what lotions and potions I've used, they're still there. 

Crazy ass dreams. Over the last week I've dreamt I was chasing Alcapa in South America, gorging for hours on cucumbers and doing yoga with Sting. 

Prepare to be insulted. I was surprised by the amount of people who think it's okay to comment on how huge you look, all while wearing a disgusted face - like I'd just killed their beloved family dog. People have (unintentional) offended me in the supermarket, at the post office and even close friends have commented. I would never be so cruel. 

"Why have you put yourself through this?" You are of course crazy from getting pregnant, it's the worse thing you'll ever do and you think pregnancy has been rough, now you have to push out a whole melon out of your once perfect vagina. And prepare yourself for everything to go wrong, forget your carefully planned out birth plan because you will pretty much die in labour and vow you'll never do it again. I often wonder how we've survived as a race for so long if it's that bad, stop telling me your horror stories and lets promote positive birthing stories for once!

Today I'm official two days over my due date and still no sign of Baby Belle. Hurry now, I'm so done with being pregnant! 

Laurie Rose